Many violent relationships follow a common pattern or cycle. The entire cycle may happen in one day or it may take weeks or months. It is different for every relationship. Does the below sound familiar?
Incident
Any type of abuse occurs (physical/sexual/emotional)
Tension Building
Aggressor starts to get angry
Abuse may begin
There is a breakdown of communication
Partner feels the need to keep the aggressor calm
Tension becomes too much
Survivor feels like they are 'walking on egg shells'
Making-Up
Aggressor may apologize for abuse
Aggressor may promise it will never happen again
Aggressor may blame partner for causing the abuse
Aggressor may deny abuse took place or say it was not as bad as the partner claims
Calm
Aggressor acts like the abuse never happened
Physical abuse may not be taking place
Promises made during 'making-up' may be met
Survivor may hope that the abuse is over
Aggressor may give gifts to partner